Adult Only Weddings
During the wedding planning process, there is no denying you have a lot of decisions to make. One of the first, and toughest decisions is your guest list. At this point you also have to decide whether you are going to have an “Adults Only” or a “Kid-Friendly” wedding.
There are a lot of factors you should think about before deciding one way or the other. Do your families have a lot of kids? How close are you to the kids? At what age is someone no longer a “kid”? What is your budget? Can you find a venue large enough to include the kids? How much is your food, cake, and drinks going to cost per guest? Do you have activities in mind you can plan for the kids? Do you want to risk the possibility of a kid crying and screaming during your vows?
You may laugh at that last question, but EVERY wedding I have been to with kids, there has been at least one that starts crying right during the couple’s vows. So maybe after taking everything into consideration, you decide to have an “Adults Only” wedding. You are now faced with telling your friends and family that have kids, that the kids are not allowed.
So how do you break the news? Breaking the news as early as possible is always best so your guests can have time to make the necessary arrangements for their children. Don’t spring this on them at the last minute. You can include one of the messages below on your invite/RSVP to ensure your guests know in advance that your wedding is Adults Only:
“While we love the little ones, this is an adult only affair.”
“Due to the limited number of seats, we are respectfully requesting an adults only evening.”
“Although we would love to celebrate with everyone, we must limit attendance to adults only.”
“_____ Adults will Attend” on the RSVP card.
Address the invitation to “Mr. and Mrs. Craig Jones” not “ The Jones Family.”
Carefully review your RSVP cards when you receive them back. If you find someone has included their children, a polite phone call will need to take place letting your guest know that your wedding is Adults Only. Has your mother-in-law been dying to help you with the planning? Put her on this task if you have to!
Don’t allow one child to come because you didn’t want to call and confront your guest. It will lead to all your other guests getting upset that they found/paid for babysitters and couldn’t bring their children.
If you decide to have an “Adults Only” wedding, I would recommend having the ceremony AND reception “Adults Only” which would mean you would not have a flower girl or ring bearer. This will avoid any confusion on if kids are allowed or aren’t allowed, or if they have to leave by a certain time.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting an adults only wedding. You are not cold-hearted, you simply just want to celebrate in the company of adults and let your friends and family have a night off. Although you are trying to help your friends and family out, they may not see it that way, and they may be deeply hurt or offended you don’t want their kids there.
One thing to remember throughout the entire wedding planning process is this is YOUR wedding. Not your mother-in-law’s wedding, not your best friend’s wedding, not your grandma’s wedding, it is YOUR wedding. Your guests should respect that and the decisions you make.